


On the Subject of Loneliness

by spicedGumdrops



Category: Moominvalley (Cartoon 2019), Mumintroll | Moomins Series - Tove Jansson
Genre: Alternate Events, Being chilly, Blankets, Gen, Ice, MoominxSnufkin if you squint, it's not really there but yknoooow
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-11
Updated: 2019-05-11
Packaged: 2020-03-01 05:27:20
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,496
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18793918
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/spicedGumdrops/pseuds/spicedGumdrops
Summary: Moominvalley 2019's episode The Groke, but the Groke gets too close to Snufkin. He finds himself staring his fears in the face.





	On the Subject of Loneliness

“It’s working. Oh my gosh, it’s really working.”

Snufkin heard Moomintroll’s utterance of surprise at the success of Snufkin’s hastily pieced together plan. It was working, The Groke was gliding away from Moomin’s parents, her eyes fixated on the lanterns held tightly by the pair. Ice crackled and spread out as she moved, the air so cold Snufkin could see his breath. He kept his eyes trained on the creature as she continued towards them, moaning and crying softly. Snufkin had seen the Groke before on his travels, sliding through the trees, filling the forest with her moans. He always knew to quickly put out his fire if the air suddenly turned cold. She always sought light. She could freeze your heart with a glance. She could scare you to death, literally.

“It may be working a bit too well,” Snufkin said slowly.  
Perhaps if we run….”

Moomin looked around frantically, then his face lit up with an epiphany.

“I got it!”

“Wha-?”

“I’ve got an idea! Keep her distracted, I’ll be right back.”

With that, Moomin took off a ways down the beach, lantern in hand. In the dimness of the moonlight, Snufkin could see him trying to lift up a huge log.

Did the air just get even colder?  
The mumrik turned back around.

The Groke was mere feet from him now. Snufkin moved his feet to continue to back away-- but he couldn’t. He looked down, and his heart leapt into his throat. His feet had been trapped in the encroaching ice. He opened his mouth to shout for Moomin, but he couldn’t make a single sound come out. His throat was too tight all of a sudden.  
The Groke glided even closer, reaching out towards the lantern clutched in Snufkin’s fist.

A terrible cold gripped Snufkin’s chest. It was as though icy tendrils were digging into his heart, freezing him from the inside out. The lantern fell from his hand, hitting the frozen ground with a loud clunk. Snufkin couldn’t move. He couldn’t look away. He was quite literally frozen in place.  
He was cold. It was unbearably cold. The lantern’s flame flickered and died.

 _The Groke is a mysterious, quiet gray shadow…_  
  
She stared down at Snufkin, her wide, golden eyes boring into his.  
  
_Maybe she’s just a reflection of our own fears._

Snufkin saw his own face reflected in her eyes. His own wide eyes, the fear on his--

 

He blinked and suddenly Moomintroll was in front of him.  
_Moomin!_  
  
Snufkin opened his mouth to call to his friend, but stopped short. The expression on Moomin’s face was quite unlike any Snufkin had seen on the troll before. Was it...disappointment? Disgust?? It was so horribly unpleasant. They were standing in front of Moominhouse. Without a word, Moomin turned and started to run back towards the house, where all his friends and family were waiting, waving and shouting happily. Snufkin tried to run after his friend, but it was like he was stuck in quicksand, his movements slow and sluggish.

 _It’s no use._

Moomin was leaving him behind.

_No one remembers you here._

A feeling Snufkin was not used to uncoiled in his gut, coursing through his veins like cold ice. It was fear. Moomin had forgotten him. The mumrik yelled for them, or at least he thought he did.  
He heard nothing.  
  
_Moomin! Little My! Sniff! Snorkmaiden!! I’m here!!_

_MOOMIN!!!_

He reached out to Moomin. It felt like he was sinking. He made a desperate grab for his friend’s arm.  
He missed.  
Now he was falling, falling far away from everything. Sinking. Snufkin’s mind was a whirlwind of panic. Moomin had forgotten him. He was forgotten, replaced. No one remembered him there. The one place he loved more than anywhere, even the ocean. The people he loved, and the one person he loved more than anything...they had moved on. Snufkin had no place in their lives anymore.

Amidst the panic, the terror, the fear, Snufkin felt something else. It felt like a hole in his very being, a hole that grew bigger and bigger until it threatened to hollow him out completely.  
_Loneliness._

 

_I feel so alone…_

 

He squeezed his eyes shut in a weak attempt to keep the tears in.

 

_I feel so alone._

He liked being alone. He enjoyed the pleasantness of his own company with nothing else but his beloved forest.  
So this, why did it hurt so? He didn’t want this. He didn’t want it.

 

Make it go away.

 

_“SNUFKIN!!!”_

A shout made Snufkin jump. He blinked. Blinked again.  
As his vision swam into focus, he saw the very worried faces of Sniff and Moomin hovering over him.

“...wha…”

“Oh, _Snufkin!_ Thank goodness!” Moomin threw his arms around his friend, hugging him a little tighter than Snufkin would have liked. But he did not pull away, for he realized how warm Moomin was. It felt so relieving, like sitting in the sun to dry off after a cold dip in a pond.  
And Snufkin was freezing.

“What...what happened? Where’s the G-Groke?” His voice carried a shiver despite himself.

Moomin pointed. Snufkin could see a trail of ice leading out into the water from the beach, and even further out, a faintly glittering shadow, following a warm, floating speck of light.

“I put my lantern on the log and pushed it out to sea. She followed it.” His voice carried a hint of sorrow. “She must be so lonely and cold, she’s probably just looking for a little warmth of her own…”

His attention snapped back to Snufkin. “Are you alright, though?! You had us worried sick!”

“When I got back to the beach, I saw Moomin with you,” Sniff piped up.

“After I set the log off, I saw you weren’t moving, Snufkin. When I got closer, I realized you had been nearly frozen! Sniff and I needed to pull you free of the ice!”

Snufkin finally looked down at himself. His clothes had patches of frost, rendering them stiff and uncomfortable. His fingers felt like they had been stuffed full of pins and needles. The tips of them were a slight blue, Snufkin could see in the light of the relit remaining lantern.

“Oh dear. S-She must hav-ve gotten q-quite close t-t-to me,” Snufkin managed to get out through chattering teeth. Internally, he was annoyed at his shivering. It was locking his jaw and making it stiff and sore. Without thinking, he leaned more into Moomin, finding comfort in the warmth radiating from his friend.

“Oh Snufkin, I can’t, I can’t tell you how worried I was! When I got to you, you weren’t moving. I wasn’t even sure if you were breathing. I thought the Groke had frozen your heart solid!”

Moomin sounded like he was near tears. Snufkin winced inwardly.

“W-Well, thanks t-to you, she d-didn’t get the ch-chance. You d-did amazing, Moomin.”

“Hey! How about we go back to your house and warm up, Moomin? We’ve been sitting on this beach long enough, and Snufkin is trembling like a newborn!”

Snufkin turned to shoot Sniff an irritated look. “I am n-not.”

“No, Sniff’s right. We need to get you warmed up, your fingers look like they have frostbite,” Moomin said.

He stood up and pulled Snufkin to his feet. Together, the three of them began the trek back home. It was not that hard to find their way back, guided by moonlight and the path of ice left by the Groke as it slowly melted. Snufkin found himself leaning against Moomin more than he usually would have, and Moomin let him. There was unspoken knowledge between the two that Snufkin wasn’t often one for physical touch; he was usually the one who initiated it. But as they plodded back in silence, Snufkin’s mind began to wander to what he saw after he looked in the Groke’s eyes. He didn’t like thinking about it, the idea that Moomin might forget him one day.

The idea of being forgotten by him made even someone like Snufkin, who so dearly treasured his time alone, terrified. He stubbornly pushed the thought out of his mind. He’d think about it later. Later. He sat quietly on the couch inside the Moominhouse, cocooned in a mess of blankets. He had agreed to stay inside until his fingers regained feeling and he wasn’t shivering quite so much. Neither Moomin nor Sniff made attempt at conversation, and Snufkin appreciated the silence.

Eventually, Snufkin made his way back to his tent with a couple extra blankets provided by Moomin. By the time he had settled down to finally sleep, the shiver was gone, but the hard knot in his stomach remained. He rolled over.

“One shouldn’t worry about such things,” he murmured aloud to himself.

It was silly. Moomin loved him, and he loved Moomin. They were good friends! And Snufkin was certain friends don’t forget friends. He soon fell into a sleep which held thankfully ordinary dreams.

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first fanfiction in literal years?? Dang.  
> I read a Moominvalley Analysis by cosmicaces about this iteration of Snufkin's character, and it made several points about his similarity to the Groke. Snufkin mentions that the Groke may be a reflection of our own fears, and I went "what if you start to see what scares you the most the closer she gets to you?"  
> And Snufkin doesn't like to break his usual cool demeanor. I wonder what would happen.


End file.
